Thursday, June 29, 2017

The Chadwick Brats sing OB-LA-DI OB-LA-DA

Not THAT kind of brats.

What you'll find below is one of the nastier tracks on an album of "Beatles Songs for Kids." It's just a reminder that children should be seen and not heard.

The CD is a compilation featuring different little monsters on each track. Most are just boring:  imagine young cast members from any crap production of "Oliver!" singing the worst Beatles songs. Which are mostly from McCartney. Since kiddie books and CDs are the least likely to be bootlegged, and most often to be given as gifts by a kind Auntie, or an uncle dressed as a kind Auntie, the surviving music stores have quite a few shelves of "Kidz Bop" and "Pop 4 Kids" and other miseries.

When you consider what children hear via rap, heavy metal, and just walking around a mall, you'd think that the REAL Beatles songs would be good enough. The conceit is that children would rather hear this music sung by other children. Doubtful. Children aren't buying this crap. Parents are. The kids probably end up using CDs like this for frisbees. Or to decapitate grasshoppers. 

A kid doesn't want to hear another kid sing. He's more entertained hearing a kid cry. As in, "Wahhhhh, you stole my lunch money, give it back!" 

The predictable irritants are here, including "Yellow Submarine" and "When I'm 64." The latter is particularly annoying coming from little ear-aches who aren't even 14. The good news is they aren't likely to live to be 64. Religious fanatics will see to that. So will dwindling immune systems, rising pollution, insane climate change, and the spectacle of Katy Perry trying to gain attention by letting her knockers bounce off her kneecaps. 

"Ob-la-di Ob-la-da" is generally considered one of the worst songs on "The White Album," slightly saved (as far as the Gay Pride people are concerned) by Paulie accidentally singing "Desmond stays at home and does his pretty face." Well, if there were more gays in the world, there would be less children. Too late, in the case of  Mr. and Mrs. Caldwell, who happened to breed not ONE but TWO irritating snots.

Drive your neighbors nuts with OBLADI 
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